All I Know
by desy1156
Summary: They say that before you die, your life flashes before your eyes. My take on Fitz's thoughts during that heart-wrenching scene in FZZT.


Never in a million years would Leo Fitz have thought he'd be in this situation. But here he is, with a throbbing head and blurry vision, locked inside the lab unwillingly, heart pounding, and mind reeling at the sight before him.

Jemma—_his_ _Jemma_—was standing there at the edge of the cargo door.

What the hell was she doing? The anti-serum worked! _Damn it, Jemma, listen to me!_

But she couldn't hear him.

And maybe it was the panic attack. Maybe it was the lack of oxygen in his brain due to his screaming. Maybe it was the paralyzing fear that was causing a million thoughts to run through Fitz's mind.

Like the day he met Simmons. She was so sassy, that girl. "If your handwriting wasn't chicken scratch, you would've caught that error!" His handwriting wasn't chicken scratch, thank you very much!

_Stop! Jemma! Please! Don't do it!_

It wasn't long before that when she started making his favorite sandwich just for him. Whenever they have a particularly daunting task, he could always count on that prosciutto mozzarella sandwich with just a hint of homemade pesto aioli.

_You still owe me a sandwich, damn it!_

And when she put the cat's liver next to his sandwich that one time.

_Stupid, bloody cat! Stupid, bloody Chitauri!_

Then, there was Skye's comment, "You and Simmons are so _tight_! It's like you're psychically linked."

_Right now, he wished they really were._

And the day they took their field assessments. There was a live simulation to test their shooting accuracy. He'd been hesitating by the door, and some bloke called out to him, "Come on, clever boy! We don't have all day!"—_**The anti-serum is on the middle table, next to the delivery device.**_—And he wanted to turn his gun at him, but out of the corner of his eye, he saw Simmons with that smile and nod and the slight wrinkling of her nose, and he took a deep breath and went in.

_He never would've ventured out of the lab if it weren't for her. Why the hell did she lock him in!_

He remembered when they'd spent the holidays with each other's families. They'd gone to Sheffield for Christmas, and Glasgow for New Year's.—_**To unlock the door from the inside during quarantine, activate the fire alarm, pull down the lever on top of the door, and push.**__—_Once, by some odd miracle—"It's not a miracle! Miracles don't exist!", they'd even gotten to spend the entire vacation in San Diego with both their families. But every year, they'd always watch the fireworks together.

_He hates the fact that he can see the sky in front of him right now. _

Then there was the time in their second year at the university when Dr. Hall asked them to explain the scalar theories of gravitation. He had begun with Newtonian gravity, Simmons jumped in explaining Nordstrom's theories,—_**The parachutes are hanging on the wall, goggles behind. Strap on and jump.**_—then he supplemented with Einstein's scalar theory, and as just as Simmons finished up a little tidbit about the Higgs field that they've suddenly realized—"Also, he's Fitz." "And she's Simmons." And Dr. Hall just carried on, exclaiming, "Excellent job, Fitzsimmons!"

_There would be no Fitzsimmons without Simmons. They were supposed to fix this together!_

And Agent Coulson asking him to be a part of this brand new team. "Oh Fitz! This would be the most perfect opportunity for us to see the world! We'd be fools to pass this one up!"

_They just had a fight. _

"I hate it when you use that voice! That's not even how I sound! And you were just afraid of going into the field—"

"I'm not afraid—"

_They say that before you die, your life flashes before your eyes._

"—and don't you dare act like these past months haven't been the highlight of your _pasty_ life!"

"Pasty? Oh, really? And when did you become so sun-kissed? Because I'm pretty sure"—_**She turned around and she just… looked at him…**_—"that every minute of every day, you've been stuck in a lab right beside me—at the Academy, at Sci-Ops, this plane!"—_**with those big sad eyes.**_—"You've been beside me the whole damn time!"

_**I don't want to go.**_

And in that moment, in that single point in time, all Fitz knew was that everything had changed.

"**JEMMAAAAAA!**"


End file.
